Welcome to the newest edition of The Why. “Why do people get married?” you ask? Good question. Timely too. (Besides, it surely beats answering the question: “Why can’t they make a Christmas stocking big enough to fit Johnny Depp into it?” Seriously? Did you not see The Lone Ranger!?)
Why do people do it? After all, nobody needs to “tie the knot” these days. “Yet” as Esquire notes, “at some point in our lives, two thirds of all American men will commit ourselves to one woman (or, increasingly, to one man), for better or worse, even though we realize that if (rich celebrities) can’t make it work, what chance do the rest of us have?”
Yours truly did it because he thought he had found someone who loved him and because she kept him totally drained. (That is, drained of common sense.)
No, really, who has any clue these days? So let’s make like Family Feud and check Esquire and other sources and surveys, mmmkay?
(In his best Richard Dawson/Louis Anderson/Steve Harvey voice): “Survey SAID”:
- People get married because he/she isn’t going anywhere so, ya know, whatever, may as well . . .might not do any better anyway . . .
- People get married because one doesn’t want the other to go anywhere.
- People get married because—uh, wait, wait, how old are you!?
- People get married because without him/her “there’s a hole in your heart.” (As opposed to after the divorce when there’s suddenly a hole in your wallet.)
- People get married because she wants to.
- People get married because they are addicted to gambling and they think they can “beat the odds” and stay married.
- People get married because kids sound nice and who wants to be a single parent and pop out little bastards?
- People get married because God/Allah/Buddah/Vishnu/Jehovah/ (Fill in the Blank/Satan wants you to!
- People get married because the boss is married.
- People get married because the sex is so f*cking good!
- People get married because the fights are so f*cking good.
- People get married because the sex after the fights is really f*cking good.
- People get married because he/she picks up the dry cleaning.
- People get married because “even if it gets bad, life will probably be easier (and) happier,” with him/her than without him/her.
- People get married because, well, even if it fails, it ain’t like it’s the end of the world.
- People get married because they “like” each other (and that might grow into love).
Mainly though, people get married because they “love” each other.
Why do people get married? Now you know.
You ask the questions. We provide the answers.
American Live Wire . . . Listen and be heard.