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Why Don’t We Do It In The Road? – ‘The Why’

Welcome to the newest edition of The Why.  “Why don’t we do it in the road?” you ask? Seriously?  Yours truly never gets out of the house or away from his laptop; that’s why.  Come on, as if you had no clue that your rockin’ writer is a huge Beatles fan. In fact, under masses of everything in the Phoenix Philes are a couple of cassette tapes that include interviews with former Beatles Paul McCartney and the late George Harrison. (Never met in person unfortunately.)

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Why don’t we do it in the road?/Image: FunnyPictures

So while your question might have been a joke, we’re going to respond anyway. (Besides, it still beats answering the question: “Why do men on the internet always change their stats to make them seem manlier?” Like women don’t subtract pounds? OK. Quick rule of thumb, ladies: subtract three inches, mmmkay?)

For those of you with little knowledge of music, let’s review. “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?” is a twelve-bar blues tinged track by the Beatles. It’s off their 1968 double-LP The Beatles, aka “the White Album”.

Paul McCartney wrote it after he saw two monkeys engaging in sexual intercourse–(read like Stewie from Family Guy so it’s funny)—in the street in India.   He was apparently fascinated with how simple and natural it was for the pair in comparison with the drama of human beings in a relationship.

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Why don’t we do it in the road?/Image: Rafaela

He recounted the event to Barry Miles author of the 1997 book Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now:

“A male (monkey) just hopped on the back of this female and gave her one, as they say in the vernacular. Within two or three seconds he hopped off again and looked around as if to say, ‘It wasn’t me,’ and she looked around as if there’d been some mild disturbance . . . and I thought . . . that’s how simple the act of procreation is . . . We have horrendous problems with it, and yet animals don’t.”

Perhaps the best answer to this question can be found in the film The Rutles 2: Can’t Buy Me Lunch. Eric Idle, as documentarist Melvin Hall, responds:

“’Why don’t we do it in the middle of the road?’ Well, obviously because it’s uncomfortable and you’ll hurt your knees and she’ll get her bottom scraped and then again it’s cold; it’s very difficult to maintain an erection—well anywhere out in public really . . . the point is there’s just too much traffic. There isn’t any room . . . .”

Do you really need to know any more than that? If Idle can give us The Meaning Of Life he is certainly good enough to answer one silly question, no?

Why don’t we do it in the road? Now you know.

You ask the questions.  We provide the answers.

American Live Wire . . . Listen and be heard.

(If you STILL need to know more . . .)

About Will Phoenix

W. Scott Phoenix, B.A., B.S. was born in Hawaii, raised in Pennsylvania and resides in California. He has been a published writer since 1978. His work has appeared (under various names) in numerous places in print and online including Examiner.com. He is a single parent of three children and has also worked as an actor, singer and teacher. He has been employed by such publications as the Daily Collegian and the Los Angeles Times.