Home / AMERICAN NEWS / Why Don’t My Breasts Match? — ‘The Why’

Why Don’t My Breasts Match? — ‘The Why’

Welcome to the newest edition of The Why.  “Why don’t my breasts match?” you ask?  Really?   Really?  Well, maybe to you that’s a good question.  (It does beat answering the question: “Why do you flirt with all those women online who want you?” Seriously? What women? Besides, cutie, why would any man ever need to be with any other woman when he could have you in his arms?)


It’s a fact of life/Image: QuickMeme

This was yet another question we almost filed under “I Don’t Think So.” As we’ve said before though, we’ve never shied from getting our readers the news or digging up the answers that are important to you.

Besides, yours truly actually did a couple of decent pieces on ladies’ “bathroom bits” so how much more difficult could writing about the upper deck be, right?  Your rockin’ writer used to write a controversial column about various issues concerning human sexuality on at least four other websites.

A woman’s “pair” is nothing new to him. (Or should that have been a woman’s “pair” are nothing new to him?) At any rate, firsthand experience (or is that both hands experience?) indicates that a lovely lady’s lovely lady lumps are rarely if ever exactly the same.

Don’t be your all-too-often penned in penman about breasts not matching? Fine. Let’s talk to the experts.

Glenn Updike, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Magee Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania chimed in on the question of matching breasts. He reported: “Unless you’ve had a boob job, most breasts aren’t perfectly matched. That’s because they’re made of mammary gland tissue and fat and have naturally different amounts in each.”


Why?/Image: CupidIntimates

Finally, Norine Dworkin-McDaniel our saucy source on embarrassing sex questions and see what she has to say about breasts. She added: “For some women, the difference is more pronounced, and it’s usually a cosmetic issue.”

On the other hand, Dworkin-McDaniel notes one more reason why a gal’s breasts might not match. She warns that it could be something serious “If one breast suddenly becomes much larger than the other, it could indicate an infection or tumor” (in which case you’d need to temporarily stop reading this column and go see your doctor as soon as possible  Otherwise, it’s OK.  it’s all good. . . or should that be they’re all good?)

Why don’t my breasts match? Now you know.

You ask the questions.  We provide the answers.

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About Will Phoenix

W. Scott Phoenix, B.A., B.S. was born in Hawaii, raised in Pennsylvania and resides in California. He has been a published writer since 1978. His work has appeared (under various names) in numerous places in print and online including Examiner.com. He is a single parent of three children and has also worked as an actor, singer and teacher. He has been employed by such publications as the Daily Collegian and the Los Angeles Times.