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Get Paid $13000 A Year For Donating Your Poop

Did you ever wish you could get paid for doing nothing but you have too many skeletons in your closet to be a politician? Then this is the place for you. We’re about to tell you how to “Get Paid” to donate your poop.

get paid

Get paid to donate your poop/Image: BelleOfThe Library

According to sources at the Washington Post and Fox News, OpenBiome, a nonprofit company in Medford, Massachusetts, is collecting crap and paying $40 per poop sample to treat a specific bacterial infection that is presently only mitigated by antibiotics. The human waste is used to treat Clostridium difficile or C. difficle.

It’s a bacterium that causes colitis or inflammation of the colon. The Centers for Disease Control and prevention (CDC) reports that one gets the disease after touching surfaces or objects contaminated with fecal matter then touching their mucous membranes or mouths.

OpenBiome scientists learned that antibiotics only offer limited success when used to treat a friend with the bacterial infection. More importantly, they discovered that while the bacterium is present in poop, introducing healthy feces into the stomach of colitis patients can eliminate C. difficile.

Soon they were accepting donated “dookie” at their headquarters. Currently, the healthy stool samples are frozen and are given to patients with C. difficile via nasal tubes, endoscopy or even oral capsules. (The next time someone tells you to “eat sh*t” don’t get upset, they might just be concerned for your health.)

OpenBiome co-founder Mark Smith–who has a PhD in microbiology from MIT–told WP: “We get most of our donors to come in three or four times a week, which is pretty awesome. You’re usually helping three or four patients out with each sample, and we keep track of that and let you know.”

get paid

Get paid to donate your poop/Image: WickedChopSpoker

Co-founder Carolyn Edelstein told the press: “Everyone thinks it’s great that they’re making money doing such an easy thing. But they also love to hear us say, ‘Look, your poop just helped this lady who’s been sick for nine years go to her daughter’s graduation.'”

Would you like to get paid to donate your poop?  OpenBiome is currently accepting new donors. Fox News notes, however, that “donating stool . . . requires a rigorous screening process. While 1,000 donors have applied, (less than) 4 percent have been able to donate.”

Prospective donors also undergo stool testing and a medical interview.  Screening can run as high as $5,000.  Smith laughs: “It’s harder to become a donor than it is to get into MIT.”

OpenBiome is also presently paying a $50 bonus per poop providing donors donate five times a week. This works out to $250 a week or $13,000 a year. It’s a crappy job but someone’s got to do it.

Get Paid $13000 A Year For Donating Your Poop

About Will Phoenix

W. Scott Phoenix, B.A., B.S. was born in Hawaii, raised in Pennsylvania and resides in California. He has been a published writer since 1978. His work has appeared (under various names) in numerous places in print and online including Examiner.com. He is a single parent of three children and has also worked as an actor, singer and teacher. He has been employed by such publications as the Daily Collegian and the Los Angeles Times.