Welcome to the newest edition of The Why. “Why doesn’t my girlfriend like my underwear?” you ask? (Actually, odd as it might sound we have received a lot of questions about underwear. Ya know, just because yours truly has a nigh legendary pair of batman boxers that have found their way to many a bedroom floor in this and a few other states does not make him an expert. Still, we never ran from a question yet. Why start now?)
We’re grouping multiple underwear questions together here. While the specific pair of underwear might be different in each separate case there is something the girlfriend, fiancé, wife or even “ex” doesn’t like but wouldn’t come right out and say.
Up first: “Why doesn’t my girlfriend like my Transformer boxers?” Transformers, by the way, are literally “robots in disguise” as the theme songs says. They are robots that assume the form of machines from stereo equipment to motorized vehicles.
At any rate, your girlfriend might not like boxers. She might not like anything associated with bad movies covering your naughty bits. Maybe she thinks that despite the waist size, they are for kids.
Maybe she just thinks that you are at best bragging or at worst guilty of false advertising when you wear boxers that say: “More than meets the eye” on them. Maybe having a line from the theme song on your boxers gets the song stuck in her head. After all, aren’t there better things to stick in her head? Um, like “sweet nothings”, that is.
Second: “Why doesn’t my fiancé like my ‘My Lucky Boxers’ underwear from Las Vegas?” if she is OK with boxers then we must ask: were you with her when you got lucky? If not, that is why she dislikes them. It reminds her every time you undress that you “got lucky’ with someone else. Remember: “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
Third: “Why doesn’t my wife like my thongs?” Thongs? Did she know you wore thongs before you married her? She might think you are “in the closet”. She might think you used to be a woman and the thongs are you one remaining souvenir of the fact that you were born in a female body. Perhaps you just plain have a sexier @ss than she does and you just look way too good in them.
Our fourth and final question: Why doesn’t my “ex” like my brand new briefs? (Congratulations on making her earn that spousal support, dude!) We’re betting while you may have worn briefs briefly to get her you always wore big ugly boxers while you were actually married to her. Since then, you got into shape, bought briefs and now you’re doing the hokey-pokey with lots of other women while only occasionally throwing her a bone, so to speak.
Why doesn’t my girlfriend like my underwear? Now you know.
You ask the questions. We provide the answers.
American Live Wire . . . Listen and be heard.