Welcome to the newest edition of The Why. “Why do space aliens probe people?” you ask? Good question. (Well, actually asking:”Why do aliens give people anal probes?” is a pain in the butt to answer and even a possible attempt to get this writer’s @ss in trouble; nevertheless it is still easier to answer when compared to some of the other questions in the “Why File”. Yeah, you really wanna see that file now, don’tcha?)
So why do aliens probe people? Let’s get right to the experts. Jason Colavito of Aliens & Anal Probes –we don’t make this stuff up—shares some history.
Colavito notes: “The alien anal probe has become such a cliché that it now stands as synecdoche for the entirety of the alien abduction experience. From the pilot episode of South Park to a second season episode of Supernatural, anal probing as also been the—ahem—butt of many jokes. Even the musical parodist Weird Al Yankovic sang in his 2014 song ‘Foil’ about the need for tinfoil hats ‘in case an alien’s inclined / to probe your butt or read your mind’.”
He adds that “anal probes are now such an established part of the UFO phenomenon that you’d think there would be a clear answer to when the aliens started probing unwary humans. “ Unfortunately, he says “many UFO books written after 1992 refer to it, and many of the most recent simply assume that it’s a standard extraterrestrial medical procedure during an abduction, but surprisingly no one has yet created a definitive catalog of anal probing events or a timeline of when they supposedly started.”
In 1992, UFO researcher Karla Turner wrote that anal probing was conducted by space aliens because it is “one of the key elements of an alien abduction.” UFOlogist Budd Hopkins, who was a consultant on the book Communion, stated that this alien procedure is a form of “electro-ejaculation stimulation to collect a semen sample through prostate stimulation.” He believed space aliens had “a reproductive agenda” in their study of human beings.
Yahoo Poster “Brian” had surprisingly similar thoughts believing that the probing serves to help aliens learn about humans the way we learn about animals. He notes that when you “watch a nature show” about saving animals, “the subject is caught, incapacitated, physically checked, tagged and some sperm is needed to check and keep to freeze for later.”
He says: “Anal probing is probably for the same reason . . . to force ejaculate out for the same reasons our scientists do it.” He feels “it’s no different with a more intelligent species looking after a less evolved (one). Of course, it’s for now it’s really only speculation . . . in the end.
Why do space aliens probe people? Now you know.
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