Welcome to the newest edition of The Why. Wait! What was the question again? Oh! “Why don’t guys listen?” you ask? Good question. (OK it’s actually a bit stereotypical but that’s never stopped us before, has it?)
Ya know, y’all should take it as a compliment. If we are not listening to you it’s probably because we are lost in your pretty eyes. (OK, seriously, we actually can’t hear anything you gals say until we’ve seen you naked at least.) As for the married men, please! That should be self-explanatory.
Actually, there was so much about this online that we could pick and choose. In this case, we went with an actual doctor for our guest today. Specifically, Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist and a contributor to TODAY.
Guys don’t listen because they are like most other guys. Ludwig confirms: “It’s not uncommon for women to feel that their partner is not listening to them. This is not to say that all men refuse to listen, but it’s a common enough trend among them to at least raise this issue.”
Ludwig and others took informal surveys to find out other reasons why guys don’t listen:
- Gals talk too much.
- We men sometimes think we’ve heard it before (and we’re often right)
- Gals are actually yelling, complaining or nagging and not really ‘talking”
- The subject is uninteresting
- We men have “more pressing matters to attend to”
Ludwig reports that guys just don’t listen because of our brains. He confirms it begins before birth. “Testosterone (for men) and estrogen (for women) flood our fetal brains, which leads to marked differences in brain development and neural connections. Male brains tend to have less area for word use and word production.”
He adds: “Men may not take in as much conversation as women do, because they have fewer verbal centers designated for it. This may also make the man in your life want to end conversations more quickly than (your) female (friends) do. Men like to rest and chill out more than women do.”
Ludwig also agrees sometimes men don’t listen because the gal’s timing sucks. Men may not be able to listen because they are already focused or reading the paper, answering an e-mail or watching TV.
He also confirms that there are times when men have short attention spans.
Ludwig also agrees that women don’t have “pause” buttons. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and have no clue where to jump in or even if we’re supposed to do so. Thus, we get lost and you’re lucky if you get an “OK” or “Uh huh”.
Maybe sometimes it’s even simpler. Sometimes we just can’t listen because you ladies have not taken care of one of our basic needs:
- I’m hungry
- I’m thirsty
- I’m horny
Why don’t guys listen? Now you know.
You ask the questions. We provide the answers.
American Live Wire . . . Listen and be heard.